By Wednesday afternoon, my world ended. It started with a few texts in the AM, then a couple of more, then so many my phone quickly ran out of storage. The list of messages said it all:
WTF? Julia! It can't beli...
OMG! Looking forward...
Slave Naked? SRSLY?...
Curtain match drapes? Will C!
HOTTY MILF ON PARADE!
If it pleases the court...
Showoff! Hope U Enj...
TGIF Indeed!
Slave much?
Buying new camera...
I'm all eyes!
If Walter sell, I buy! $$$$$
STFU! Go Pussy Parade!
Shaved? Can't W8 2 C!
ICYMI Town Crier
The last one explained why phone exploded. Apparently The Town Crier published an article about our 4th of July Parade, with the headline "Town Attorney Slaving 4 Animals".
“Biggest and Best Parade Ever”: Richmond Readies for 4th of July Spectacle
RICHMOND, KY – Excitement is building across town as Richmond prepares to roll out what Mayor Carl Hendricks promises will be the "biggest and best parade ever" this Fourth of July.
The annual Independence Day Parade will kick off at 10:00 a.m. Friday morning, marshaling in the Richmond High School parking lot before winding its way down Washington Street, turning onto Main, and concluding along Park Street at Liberty Park. With floats, fire engines, a marching band, and even a pet parade, this year's event is shaping up to be a celebration to remember.
“This is more than a parade,” said Mayor Hendricks. “It’s a showcase of Richmond’s community spirit. From our veterans to our students, from local businesses to civic clubs, everyone is pitching in."
One popular local favorite, Slave Mart, is returning with their well received slave parade of naked slave girls. Slave Mart Manager says that the girls will be auctioned in the town Gazebo at the remainder of the parade, and promises this years parade will include some "real lookers."
"You'd be surprised who fell behind on their mortgages, now that the economy is tightening up," Ernie Tick, Manager of Slave Mart, said with a chuckle. "Come watch the parade, and see if the girl next door is now a naked slave girl on Main," he added with a chuckle.
One new addition this year is "Slave Queens", local girls who, contingent on raising pledges for their favorite local charity, have agreed to march naked in the parade, and maybe be auctioned off, for 6 month indentures. Participants this year include the Mayor's niece, Emily, who has been generously raised by her Aunt & Uncle after her parents were killed in a car accident 2 years ago. "It's high time the little moocher started earning her keep", the Mayor said with a chuckle, adding that the money Emily raises in pledges will go to his re-election campaign.
The biggest news for this year is one of the town's most esteemed citizen, attorney Julia James, has agreed to march naked in return for $100,000 in pledges to the PET SAFE local animal shelter. "We're really grateful for Julia's support over the years," Pet Safe President Lynne Katz said. "I can't believe she is willing to even consider doing this for us. $100,000 is a lot of money, and I wish me had more time to raise the funds. But my organization will do everything we can to spread the word as quickly as we can, that's for darn sure!"
A Star-Spangled Lineup
The parade will feature the Richmond Fire Department’s engines leading the way, followed by members of VFW Post 1215, the Richmond High School Marching Band, and the Rotary Club, among many others.
“We love doing this every year,” said Commander Rick Martinez of the VFW Post. “This parade is about community, country, and camaraderie. After the parade, we’ll have a booth at Liberty Park with free soda and hats for folks – while supplies last, of course!”
Band Director Lisa Goodman beamed about her students’ preparations. “They’ve been rehearsing since June. We’re marching in full uniform and debuting a medley of patriotic tunes. Then we’ll head to the park to hand out hats and cold drinks – the kids love it.”
The Rotary Club is also gearing up for a strong showing. “We’ll be marching right behind the band and setting up a tent in the park,” said club president Diana Hill. “We’ll have giveaways and information about our community service programs. This event brings out the best in Richmond.”
Floats, Food & Four-Legged (and Two-Legged) Animals
Two of the parade's biggest floats will be from Sam’s Hot Dogs and Community Bank, each packed with costumed employees tossing candy and waving to the crowd. Nearby, Baxter Motors will showcase its 2025 line of cars, complete with local sales staff answering questions and handing out keychains.
“It’s great exposure, but more than that, it’s just a blast to be involved,” said Trina Lawson from Community Bank. “Our whole staff is on board—literally!”
Once the parade ends at Liberty Park, the celebration continues with food trucks, carnival rides, and booths from many of the parade’s participants.
The Mayor agrees that in terms of popularity, it's hard for local businesses to compete with the allure of naked slave girls marching down Main Street. "I think the Slave Queens will make it even more fun. As it's Kentucky, we're going to have a man on horseback, dressed in Antebellum clothes, cracking the whip down Main Street. I've warned my niece she won't get any special privileges, and if she doesn't prance pretty, he'll whip her butt."
The Mayor is hopeful that Julia James will draw in the crowds. "It's great for the town, and for local businesses. I still can’t believe she agreed to it,” Mayor Hendricks laughed. “Julia’s a great sport and a big supporter of animal welfare. I know there's a lot of people out there who'd like to see her naked, and it's for all for a cause we care about.”
Don’t Miss It
The Mayor encourages everyone to attend, bring their families, and be part of what’s shaping up to be a historic celebration. Donation pledges for the Slave Queens can be made on the town website, by Venmo, or at the register at stores throughout the town.
“There’s nothing like the Fourth of July in Richmond,” said Hendricks. “It’s wholesome, it’s fun, and it’s for a good cause. Come out early, bring your lawn chairs, and get ready for a great time. Trust me—you don’t want to miss this one.”
The page one story included a picture of me in my lawyer attire, which had been taken at a Bar Association Fundraiser. It was the world as I wanted the world to see me: attractive, but professional.
However, the picture they put next to it portrayed me in quite a different light. It was taken by my son's friend Willie, when we had all gone to Lake Kentucky to celebrate my son's birthday. Willie kept trying to sneak in photos of me, and I scolded him, playfully threatening to "spank his bottom". In truth, I had enjoyed the boy's attention, of being the MILF they could look at, and dream about, but never touch. But the picture had apparently gotten out at my son's school, and now it was Page 1 news on The Town Crier:
As the newspaper had a digital edition, my MILF picture was quickly on every Reddit forum in the community. Even my local church reposted it.
Lynne Katz did her part, following up with a blast e-mail urging ever pet lover to contribute to the worthy cause.
SEE PUSSY, SAVE PUSSY the headline read. Thanks, Lynne.
What shocked me most about the posts was their playful, jocular tone, as if stripping girls naked and whipping their asses down the street was fun for the entire family. I was no different than the marching band, the fire engines, or the other attractions, and selling my pussy in the park was no different than selling beer or hot dogs.
My husband Walter told me that I wasn't seeing the humor in it, and as it was inevitable I should "relax and enjoy it." He admitted he was surprised by the number of texts he was getting from so-called friends who promised him big bucks if he put my pussy on the block.
"I never knew you were so popular," he teased. "Strange that the same people who told me that you were a tight assed bitch now want to brand your butt. I hear they're going to heat the slave brands on the grill they are cooking the hamburgers on."
"My butt is not a hamburger, Walter. Don't tell me you're considering selling me." I said.
Walter feigned mulling it over. "Your clearly slave hot," he observed, stroking his chin. "And with the money I get for you, I could retire to an island, and buy a 1/2 dozen defaulting coeds. Unless you convince me otherwise..."
I knew the game. Dropping to my knees, I unzipped his pants. His spluge tasted delicious, and I timed my slave-gasm to hit as he exploded into my mouth.
