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Dear Abner,

I feel weird writing to you about this, and I want to make it clear that is clearly a hypothetical. Let's say I was an actress in Hollywood and I'm like super-successful and I've been in all the big movies but what I really want an Oscar. Maybe I haven't won won, because the Oscars are totally bitchy, or maybe I did, and I just want another, because a girl can't have enough tall, stiff golden boys to pleasure her at night, if you know what I mean. Again, just a hypothetical.

Hollywood and the press LOVES preparation and immersion for a role, and right now there's this script going around that I got an offer on with a hot director that has a girl wrongfully enslaved. So I was thinking the shortcut to the red carpet was to actually go through the entire enslavement experience. Don't suggest Slave Yoga or something lame, as all the girls in Hollywood do that and that's bullshit and is going to move the ball maybe 5 yards down the field. I am way too fucking famous to die my hair and have anyone not know who I am. I want 100% super-duper, slap the collar and spread 'em on the block enslavement. Oscar gold, am I right?

I was talking to my agent Alan about this, and he said that there is company called Legendary Slavers which sells girls who look like famous celebrities for 3 months of servitude, after putting them through extensive training to act like that celebrity (and a slave girl, too). For the more in demand celebrities they even do auctions, which is perfect for me, as I want to go through an auction and I am, Alan tells me, totally in demand at LS, and he's actually been to a couple of auctions where look-a-likes strutted their stuff. (It was actually really weird seeing how excited he got describing it, but whatever, he's a guy, and an agent, and just wants to sell shit). Alan agrees it would be Oscar gold and said he'd be delighted to make the arrangements with Legendary Slavers, and do all the paperwork (for his customary 25%, of course).

Well, I can act like me, and I look like me, and I've done slave training and got a rocking block routine, so slave training isn't really going to take more than a few hours, I figure. I figure I'll be so good at it they won't even need to use the whip or anything. They can only do temporary brands and if they use anesthesia that won't hurt so much, although I'm thinking I can probably sweet-talk my way out of it, because I'm still me, after all. And if things get too intense, I can always reveal who I am and buy my way out of it.

The problem is I already have a registration number on my upper lip, so the moment Legendary Slavers registers me and puts me in the system my cover is blown. I know the laws about slave registration fakes and modifications are super strict, but I figure I'm rich and powerful so exceptions can be made, am I right? But I don't know very much about how these things are done and it's not like I want to walk around asking rando slave lawyers about this, so I thought you might have some ideas for this really totally-just-asking-out-of-curiosity hypothetical.

Hypothetical in Hollywood

My lamentable memory--I could swear (but cannot locate) that a previous story by Joe mentioned that the protagonist had once been an advisor/trainer to a Hollywood actress who portrayed a slave in a film. Perhaps I imagined that. Anyway, this is yet another marvelous plot where a self-destructive woman finds an excuse to become a slave--I notice that she insisted on an auction, presumably the only thing she didn't experience when she was slave graded.
The obvious solution would be to make a documentary film of her being enslaved and trained--but then, her reactions wouldn't really be "acting," so she probably wouldn't qualify for an award. Unless there's an Oscar for most self-destructive actions by an overpaid actress? Sounds like Abner's fictional friend (coincidentally named Joe Doe; small world, right?) needs to recruit this woman for his short-term slavery program. Although she'd probably end up in Dubai . . .

Carl that was Sarah on the whore ship! The actress used Sarah on the ship!

I did a segment on the My Little ponygirl: Friendship is Magic live action movie and the making the movie documentary that I included below since I am pretty sure that Abner will reference it in his reply.

As ponygirl popularity grew, creative individuals found ways to capitalize on the craze. Hasbro launched the wildly successful franchise "My Little ponygirl: Friendship is Magic," marketing cute girly ponygirl toys and cartoons with a target demographic of young girls and their parents. Many little girls dreamed of growing up to be ponygirls, much to the amusement of their parents. There were even youth leagues for aspiring ponygirls. The franchise quickly became a cultural and internet phenomenon with many male fans between thirteen and thirty-five creating a large fan base and a multitude of creative works, fan sites, cosplay and conventions.

This sensation culminated in a live action movie with many prominent actresses vying for leading roles, much like in the Marvel super hero franchise. The PG-13 rated movie starred some prominent feminists such as Oscar winner Brie Larsen in the role of Rainbow Dash, Shailene Woodley as Fluttershy, Emily Ratajkowski as Rarity, Margot Robbie as Pinkie Pie, and Kate Upton as Applejack with lesser roles going to Hailey Baldwin, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and Taylor Swift who also did the original soundtrack. All ponygirl actresses signed lucrative Texas FINO slave contracts making all the required public nudity legal that covered, or better put uncovered, their training at Lone Oak Equestrian Academy through filming. The contracts contained fine print that they either ignored, did not read or looked forward to enjoying.

The R-rated documentary film of the making of the movie was almost as popular as the movie itself as it chronicled the actresses completing actual ponygirl training at Lone Oak for these roles of a lifetime. It started with them arriving at Lone Oak in limos and walking into the stable for a production meeting. These actresses were members of a privileged elite class of pampered stars that existed in LA that had grown accustomed to using slaves for their personal gratification without a care or consideration for the slave's wellbeing. They were due for a rude awakening. Once inside they were stripped slave naked, collared and introduced to the stable which became their new home for the duration of their three month training period.

Next they were lined up for their piercings as all ponygirls at Lone Oak received nipple, navel and vaginal piercings, often called hood ornaments. The nipple piercings in particular were used to hold small bells that jingled while a variety of different vaginal piercings designed to stimulate the clitoris were installed to increase arousal. For some of the advanced dressage training the nipple and vaginal piercings were used to maneuver the ponygirls. Two small chains attached to the left and right outer labia piercings ran up through the navel and nipple piercings through loops in the collar which the trainer pulled on to guide the ponygirl through a carefully choreographed set of movements.

Since they were all slave livestock pursuant to their Texas FINOs they were strapped down onto gynecology exam chairs with their feet in stirrups. Interestingly enough Ms. Woodley, Ms. Robbie, and Ms. Swift arrived that day with most if not all the requisite piercings already in place. Ms. Larsen created a fuss, loudly complaining that it was undignified to pierce an Oscar winning actress like a common ponygirl slave. Demanding instead that the studio use CGI to replicate any required jewelry. Staff quickly gagged her, speedily installing jewelry in her nine new piercings all accomplished in relative silence.

With all the new ponygirls pierced, they were herded into the tack fitting room where they were outfitted with horseshoe boots, harnesses and leather armbinders. The ponytail anal plugs used at Lone Oak were a special variant that had different vibration settings to add to the ponygirls' pleasure that could be manipulated either manually or by remote control. These plugs also emitted a painful electrical shock to punish badly behaving ponygirls. The producers decided to introduce the tapered 5" by 4" anal plug with tail prior to fitting the ponygirls with their bridles so as to capture on film each actress's full reaction in the documentary. This portion of the film was extremely popular catching their facial expressions using a split screen that simultaneously depicted the insertion of the anal plug.

The Lone Oak Equestrian Academy used an innovative method for motivating ponygirls during their training which also came in handy for these tail insertions. Trainers sexually stimulated a ponygirl with handheld butterfly vibrators while forcing the "tail" in as she relaxed, often while climaxing, frequently with the anal plug on vibration mode to enhance the pleasure. In this way each ponygirl learned to associate the anal plugs, and any pain from sudden insertion, with sexual pleasure as part of the sexualization process that all ponygirl trainees went through. Over time the ponygirls looked forward to their morning tail insertions.

Bad ponygirls received their tail plugs without the use of the butterfly vibrators as a form of punishment. This process was explained to the now very apprehensive actresses, especially the anal virgins who were close to tears listening to the head trainer describe the procedure while holding a what appeared to be in their eyes a huge tail plug wondering what their agents had signed them up for.

Interestingly Ms. Woodley volunteered to go first, seemingly forgetting she was being filmed for the documentary. She moaned in delight as her clit was massaged by the trainer using a butterfly vibrator as the large plug was shoved up her ass while she begged the trainer to make it vibrate more and fuck her hard with it. The horrified look on her flushed face when she calmed down after her climax, with tail vibrating in place, as she suddenly remembered that her performance was caught on film was priceless.

Ms. Robbie and Ms. Ratajkowski were the next two volunteers with both uttering satisfied moans of pleasure while wantonly climaxing from their clitoral massage as the plugs were inserted further demonstrating that not all free women abhorred anal sex. It seemed to many observers that these two ponygirls were playing to the camera as they received their tails.

Ms. Larsen was another story altogether, she resisted receiving her tail, having to be forcefully strapped down on the plugging bench as her ass was lubed once again loudly objecting after her gag was removed. As a misbehaving ponygirl she did not receive any good vibrations from the butterfly device. When the trainer forcefully shoved the plug home she wailed like a banshee while her teary eyes bulged out like fisheyes recorded for all posterity on film.

When Ms. Larsen had calmed down the Lone Oaks head trainer advised her that she was a bad ponygirl whose poor behavior would not be tolerated. He then demonstrated the punitive use of the plugs by giving Ms. Larsen a series of painful electrical shocks demonstrating the different pain levels to drive home the penalty for disobedience for all of the new ponygirls. Ms. Larsen's high pitched shrieks reinforced the change in status from free women to ponygirl livestock for these spoiled actresses.

All the other new ponygirls begged to be strapped down to avoid punishment as some cried, squealing, as their plugs were inserted while trying to be cooperative. There was a lively debate on the internet concerning whether Ms. Upton, Ms. Swift and the younger Ms. Jenner were faking their distress. All three were observed briefly moaning in pleasure, with Ms. Upton caught muttering "fuck yeah" under her breath, and as they appeared to climax from the butterfly vibrator as their tails were seated in their respective hind quarters.

The four hour, two volume, documentary has way too many highlights to mention them all here. The opening scene showed all of the ponygirls trotting out of the stable in full ponygirl regalia, to the jingle of the bells hanging from their nipples, while herded out to pasture. Scenes of a naked Ms. Baldwin in ponygirl regalia receiving the whip on her ass and thighs each time a knee did not reach the requisite height, Ms. Ratajkowski receiving the whip when not staying in gait while vault jumping, Ms. Larsen on the receiving end of a tail shock when breaking stride and Ms. Upton being maneuvered like a puppet using chains attached to her labia and breast hoops were some of the most popular. The Slave Channel, using viewer polling, created the top ten tail plug discipline scenes of Ms. Larsen being zapped out of the one hundred and thirty-five in the film shortly after the film premiered.

Late one afternoon towards the end of the three months of training Ms. Larsen broke away from her trainer and ran back to the stable. She was found positioned over the breeding bench waiting to be bred, her sopping wet cunt needing cock, whinnying impatiently demonstrating the success of the sexualization process implemented at Lone Oak. Ms. Larsen, now Rainbow Dash, had succumbed to the submissive and obedient servant slave personality that subsumes a slave's free personality known as slave mind. Having fought her natural submissiveness her entire life Brie would never fully recover, remaining a slave ponygirl at heart for the rest of her life due in part to the obedience training inherent in ponygirl drills coupled with three months of constant reinforcement while at Lone Oak.

After three months all the actresses successfully graduated, receiving on film, once again using the split screen, their Lone Oak brand that they earned either on the thigh, buttock or between the cheeks, before going on to film the actual movie. There was also a third two-hour volume of bonus scenes rated mature containing the breeding scenes and some of the more interesting sexual exploits of these ponygirls, especially at night while sleeping three to a stall with the most popular one involving the activities of the Jenner sisters abusing Ms. Larsen with large strapons. Another popular stall scene involved Ms. Robbie and Ms. Ratajkowski dominating Ms. Upton culminating in a strapon double penetration with the three of them convulsing in a frenzy together.

Dear Hypothetical in Hollywood,

Legendary Oscar winners like Marlon Brando, Dustin Hoffman and Heath Ledger were method actors that put on sincere and expressive performances through identifying with, understanding, and experiencing a character's inner motivation and emotions. Best Actress award winner Brie Larsen took method acting to new heights by fully inhabiting the role of Rainbow Dash in the movie classic My Little ponygirl: Friendship is Magic where she drew from personal experiences and memories while a slave training at the Lone Oak Equestrian Academy for three months to garner real emotions, and to connect with her ponygirl character. She was not alone, joined by Shailene Woodley as Fluttershy, Emily Ratajkowski as Rarity, Margot Robbie as Pinkie Pie, and Kate Upton as Applejack with lesser roles going to Hailey Baldwin, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and Taylor Swift who also did the original soundtrack. All these dedicated actresses took their trade seriously to the extent that they all now have the Lone Oak badge permanently on display on their behinds.

I have it on good authority that there are a couple of serious slavery themed scripts making the rounds where the directors are looking for the same level of commitment demonstrated by Ms. Larsen. It will take more than a hot slave yoga routine or wearing a dog collar pretending to be a sex slave in the privacy of your hotel room. This is the home training common for the actresses in Hallmark Slave channel romance movies that never results in an Emmy let alone an Oscar. The only way to truly experience a pleasure slut's inner motivations and emotions is to lose control over your being by becoming an actual slave, sold on the auction block to a total stranger that can do whatever they want with you sexually. You need to feel the heat of the branding iron permanently marking your body with your owner's badge to properly connect with your character. This is the level of commitment necessary for a truly Oscar worthy performance.

In the spirit of full disclosure, the film rights have been purchased for my lovely wife Amber's bestselling novel Five Years a Pleasure Slut about her many adventures as a concubine after being wrongfully enslaved. She even graduated from the Venus Academy with honors after six months of in-depth training at the young age of 19. To this day I am still proud of her many achievements. We still reap the benefits of her training with Amber happily climaxing right along with me every time I blow a wad into her mouth. She's just so cute with her fisheyes lighting up with joy every time I blast off with my eight inches of thick man meat lodged down her throat. Any method actress worth her salt would be conditioned to do the same if starring in this film.

One side benefit is that all the actresses will be on Horny Juice for months on end so if your girls are sagging a tad, they’ll get firmed up and upsized naturally. No need to go under the knife. That young Disney actress cannot wait to fully blossom during the filming. Then there’s all the slave jewelry that you will get to keep after the filming. A good set of matching hood ornaments can get expensive, trust me, I know as my Amber has expensive tastes. I’ve strongly suggested that she do a cameo for just this reason.

The director is casting the roles now with Amber as a consultant. I heard that he found a "fresh" perky young teenage Disney or Nickelodeon starlet just turning eighteen to play my Amber. This actress is looking to lose her good girl mantel to star in this film and is more than willing to enter a no holds barred pleasure slut immersion program that involves her completing the same horny juice assisted training at Venus as my Amber along actual sale by auction for periods of time during the filming and after filming to chase fame and fortune, and possibly an Oscar.

There is a role for an older woman around thirty to play the part of a MILF named Savannah that my wife befriended at the slave market who also went through the same rigorous training at Venus with my Amber. The same man bought both women, keeping them together for years. Savannah's husband had her at the slave market for a grading update and valuation through an Anny Chance Auction as collateral for their mortgage and when he saw the final bid, well he jumped on it. Unbeknownst to Savannah, he had been promising his younger mistress (aka his secretary) that he would file for divorce for months and this was a perfect solution. I would note for all the men out there that a quick enslavement is so much preferable to a messy divorce with all those expensive family court appearances. Child support and alimony can haunt you for years. It is clean and simple, almost like your ex never even existed.

Here are a couple of exciting developments regarding the film that should interest you. The esteemed Merle Adkins agreed to design a custom branding head to be used by the gentleman that owns Amber and Savannah. I have no doubt that this badge will look marvelous on any beautiful woman's posterior. He has even agreed to do the honors of branding each woman on the set with this beautiful custom brand. Louis Vuitton developed a new fragrance they're naming Slave Heat that will use Adkin's design on the label with the actresses having a prominent role in advertising with TV ads, and advertising online, in fashion magazines and on billboards in a conjoined advertising campaign with the movie’s release.

This is an excellent opportunity for a dedicated method actress that strives to follow in the footsteps of Hollywood greats like Brando, Hoffman, and Ledger. Maybe we'll meet in person on the set as I will also be a consulting slave wrangler assisting in preparing the actresses in the film that will ensure certain hands-on training. I'll be that handsome guy introducing himself by holding you firmly by the hair on your knees taking a selfie with my eight-inch shaft buried down your throat pumping your tummy full of baby batter triggering your frenzy as your fish eyes glaze over lost in your slave haze. It would be quite the collectable if you were to win an Oscar.

Best,

Abner

Ask Abner is written by Abner Armfield, advice columnist and author of the New York Times bestseller The Redneck Guide to Home Training Your Slave. Please email your questions to askabner@comcast.net, or write to: Abner’s Mailbox, c/o THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS 1954 Commerce St. Dallas, TX 75201.

Mr. Abner Armfield is a direct descendent of John Armfield, the founder of Franklin & Armfield, the largest slave trading firm in the country prior to the Civil War. He is on the board of the reconstituted Franklin & Armfield that owns the Old Slave Mart chain amongst other interests. He graduated with an MBA from the McCombs School of Business after undergraduate studies at Ole Miss. He met his wife Amber Post while working as a trainer at the Pearson Pussy Ranch right after graduating from McCombs. Ms. Post, a fellow trainer at Pearson’s, wrote the best seller Five Years a Pleasure Slut about her many adventures as a concubine and currently has her own syndicated column. At age 19 she received her concubine certificate after six months of in-depth training at the Venus Academy where she graduated with honors. The couple co-star in the highly rated syndicated TV show Ask Amber and Abner in its seventh season on the Slave channel. Amber is currently in the fifth year of a FINO enslavement to Abner and the happy couple have three children.