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Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 5:48 pm
by hoggle123
From Beach to Bars

The heat on the Kivana Islands clung to Carla Murphy as she sipped wine at the Celtic Circuits dinner. The murmuring of the ocean’s waves was drowned out by laughter. At twenty-two, she felt out of place among these polished executives. Tara Brennan, her boss, had plucked her from one of Dublin’s dead-end jobs and given her an assistant’s role. A job with real pay finally. Along the way, Carla had found out that their tech went to questionable buyers, but the money was good.

Tara’s warm smile during the interview, offering her this exotic job, had seemed like acceptance, a sign she was one of them. Maybe I’ve finally made it, she thought, her heart lifting.

But now, with the wine loosening her tongue and the executives chuckling at some impenetrable in-joke, she leaned forward, grinning like a cat who had spotted an unguarded cream jug.

“You know,” she said, her voice bright with the reckless confidence of the slightly inebriated, “I’ve sussed your little secret. The outpost’s for flogging tech to sanctioned buyers, isn’t it?” She giggled, expecting a round of conspiratorial winks.

The table froze, and she realized she had made a mistake. A gruff executive dropped his fork as his jaw went tight. Another, wiry with thinning hair, glared. Tara’s smile tightened, her eyes cold as steel. Carla instantly regretted saying this. How could she have been so stupid to be so forward with them?

“N-no big deal,” Carla stammered. Her cheeks felt hotter than the tropical sun. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Right,” Tara said, her voice smooth as oiled hinges on a trapdoor.

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Later in the hotel lounge, Tara faced the executives. Their faces were grim. “She’s a loose end,” one of them hissed. “One wrong word from her back home, and we’re done.”

“If she talks—” the wiry one began.

“She won’t,” Tara snapped, her mind racing. Carla’s naivety had been perfect. Until now. “I’ll handle it.”

“You better,” the other one growled. “You hired her. She’s your responsibility.”

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Afternoon the next day:

Carla stood in a cold concrete cell, gripping the bars in disbelief. She was still in her faded blue bikini, damp from the beach, clinging to her clammy skin. The bright overhead light buzzed monotonously. Her cell felt like a dark, oppressive box, and her wrists ached from the cuffs that had been removed. She felt the gritty floor under her bare feet. Her life had turned upside down.

When she had walked into her hotel room, after a swim at the nearby beach, she had found the police rifling through her bags, and holding on a few packets of a suspicious white powder. Now, the bikini that once made her feel bold felt obscenely revealing in the cell’s damp air.

The heavy door creaked open, and a stern-looking uniformed man stepped inside, a Black man whose commanding presence filled the cell. It was the District Attorney. His dark skin contrasted with the white folder he carried, which he flipped open.

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“Miss Murphy,” he began, “You’re being charged with possessing a substantial amount of cocaine, found in your room. The Investment Act demands harsh drug penalties to make foreign investors feel safe and this quantity demands a prison sentence.”

Safe? Well, she didn’t feel safe right now. Her jaw dropped. “Cocaine?” she squeaked. “I’ve never seen it! How did it get there?”

The DA raised an eyebrow. “An anonymous tip brought us to your room. With this much cocaine, the law assumes intent to distribute.”

Anonymous tip? Carla’s mind raced. Those cold eyes at the table, Tara’s hollow “Right.” Tara had been the one to hire her. She had become somewhat of a mentor to her. There was no way she would do this, would she? Or… maybe it was that guy at the beach she had seen watching her rinse off under the beach shower. She had caught him staring at her, and he had guiltily looked away. Could he have followed her back, and slipped the drugs in, to somehow get her through their corrupt system? Her skin prickled at the thought. She gripped the bars feeling like prey caught in a spider’s web.

Her heart sank. “I don’t know how it got there! This can’t be right!” The bikini’s revealing design felt increasingly humiliating under his authoritative gaze. “What can I do?”

“Not much,” he said in a flat tone.

“Don’t I get a phone call?” she blurted with a trembling voice.

“Of course, Miss Murphy,” the DA nodded slightly and retrieved a battered phone from his desk.

Clutching the device, she rang the number of the only person she knew on this island.

The receptionist’s voice was crisp as a winter morning. “Please hold for Mrs. Brennan.” Silence stretched, as Carla’s pulse hammered like a blacksmith on a deadline. Then, “Mrs. Brennan is unavailable. I’m sorry.”

Panicked, Carla stammered, “Leave a message for Tara to urgently contact me at the police station!” but the line was dead. The receptionist had already hung up.

A chill of doubt deepened as she handed the phone back, whispering, “I couldn’t reach anyone.” Damn. She should have known that job was too good to be true.

The DA’s voice remained even, almost routine, “No problem, Miss Murphy. We will proceed as planned,” before turning away, his boots echoing as the door slammed shut.

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The courtroom was a creaky affair, its wooden benches groaning under a sparse crowd that seemed to have wandered in by mistake. The air was heavy with heat and a faint whiff of bureaucracy. Carla stood before the judge, still in the bikini she had been arrested in. She crossed her arms tightly to shield herself from prying eyes. Her pulse hammered like a war drum.

The judge, a tired looking man with a gavel and a gaze that could curdle milk, glanced at her briefly before checking his watch. His mind was already on the golf course, where the fairway promised a simpler world than this mess.

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Beneath his stern exterior, he nursed a grudge against the ministry, who nagged him about prison costs as if he had personally invited every miscreant to the islands. The Kivana Investment and Prosperity Opportunity Act was meant to lure corporations with promises of safety, not saddle him with cases like this: a girl with some cocaine who posed no threat to the state. Yet here he was, stuck playing their game, knowing they’d blame him when the bills came due, when all he wanted was to make everyone happy.

The District Attorney presented the case with a measured tone. “Miss Murphy is charged with possession of a substantial amount of cocaine, found in her hotel room after an anonymous tip. On the Kivana Islands, such offenses jeopardize our reputation as a safe investment hub and demand severe penalties.”

Carla’s jaw dropped, her voice cracking with desperation, “That’s not my cocaine! I was framed! Check my room for tampering!”

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The DA held up a photo of white powder in her bag, his tone unwavering. “The evidence is clear. Intent to distribute is assumed with this quantity.” He glanced at the judge, a wiry man with a stern gaze, who skimmed a ministry directive on his desk, its seal catching the light.

Her lawyer, a wilted figure in a suit that looked like it had been laundered in a puddle, muttered, “My client claims a setup, but we lack corroboration.” His voice trailed off as he adjusted his crooked tie, shuffled a stack of papers and glanced at his next case file.

The judge leaned forward. His voice was steady but laced with the authority of someone who would rather be elsewhere. “Carla Murphy, on the charge of possessing a substantial amount of cocaine, you’re sentenced to two years imprisonment.”

Internally, he stewed. This girl’s case was a nuisance, not a threat. Yet here he was, forced to play by their rules, knowing that the ministry would be pointing fingers at him for it, the poor sap holding the gavel.

Carla’s mind raced back to the unanswered call earlier. And suddenly the pieces began to click into place.

Carla’s knees buckled, outrage surging. “This is a sham! Tara, I mean my boss, Mrs Brennan, planted those drugs to silence me. She knows I could expose her in Ireland!” Her voice trembled, the crowd murmuring as her accusation echoed.

Sharp inhales rippled through the courtroom, eyes widened at her challenge.

The judge sighed inwardly, feeling a headache forming from the stress. He could use some of that cocaine right now, he thought, glancing at the clock. Then, he had an idea. The labor program. Ship her to the mainland, let them deal with her. Young, healthy, non-violent. She was perfect for it. It would cut costs, keep the ministry quiet, and maybe teach her to mind her tongue. Clever, he thought, congratulating himself on navigating the bigger picture.

“Miss Murphy, after careful consideration, I find that your excess energy and argumentative spirit make you a better fit for the ‘Rehabilitation Through Productive Labor’ program. You are hereby assigned to the labor program. Two years of character-building work will guide you to a better path.”

Carla’s anger flared, her hands clenching. “What? No! I didn’t agree to this. You can’t do this. I have rights!”

“Enough, Miss Murphy. Your refusal to accept judgment and intent to disrupt warrant this correction. Case adjourned.” He rapped the gavel again, signaling the guards as his thoughts turned to the fairway.

The judge hurried out, his thoughts on his golf swing, pleased to have dodged another bureaucratic bullet. Somewhere, a fairway waited, and Miss Murphy was someone else’s problem now.

Carla cursed herself for her thoughtless words before the executives. Would they really set her up like this?

Her gut sank as a guard gripped her arm and pulled her away.

Character-building, she thought. Sounds like something you’d tell a gobshite before you make them mop floors for free. Her skin prickled under the bikini, and she wondered what kind of work they had in store for her.

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Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas

Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 5:48 pm
by hoggle123
Preparation for Productive Service

The guard brought Carla to a medical room. The air inside carried the sharp tang of antiseptics. A single bulb overhead, illuminated a worn medical table at the wall. Beside it stood a rickety desk and a lone chair with a cushion.

The narrow window offered a sliver of tropical sunlight through its dirt smudged glass. It was barred with iron rods, which cast shadows across the linoleum floor.

The room hummed with the low drone of an ancient ceiling fan as it stirred the stifling heat.

“Miss Murphy, please remove your clothes.”

“Strip naked? No way! What for?” Carla’s voice trembled. Her outrage mixed with desperation.

The guard’s tone was flat. “It’s the law for slaves in Grabesh. To make sure you’re not hiding anything.”

He had left the Grabesh mainland for the Kivana Islands’ higher wages, only to find everything cost more, leaving him stuck in this dead-end jail job dealing with argumentative little brats like her. With a mental groan, he glanced at the clock, eager to clock out.

“That’s absurd!” Carla snapped. “Even in this backward country, women should have some rights! Ever heard of modesty?”

“Law’s the law,” he muttered, his eyes on the clock. “Strip, or I’ll do it for you.”

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Carla’s blood boiled with impotent anger as the guard’s words sank in. She silently cursed Tara for getting her into this predicament. She could have saved herself all this trouble if she had only kept her mouth shut.

She locked eyes with the guard. But this was a foreign land, and there was nothing she could do.

With a furious exhale, her hands yanked at the bikini top. She slipped the straps of her shoulder to her sides and pulled the top downwards. She felt the air from the ceiling fan graze her creamy white breasts, now bared to the guard. Then she hooked her thumbs into the bikini slip and jerked it down her hips with a shudder of silent rage. She bent over, and one foot after the other, she took off the two parts of the bikini. She hated the thought that, once she stood up straight again, her full body would be available to the guard’s scrutiny. Carla’s gut twisted as she realized her tan lines would draw his eyes to places she didn’t want him to see. But she had no choice. She collected what inner strength she had, and stood straight again nonetheless.

Carla’s cheeks burned as she stood exposed. She wondered if the guard had ever seen a naked white woman. She had shaved some of her pubic hair to keep it from sticking out of her bikini. But she hadn’t bothered removing it all because she had not expected anyone to see her naked today, let alone be forced to strip before a man.

Carla glared at the guard with embarrassed defiance as if daring him to look down at her.

The guard appraised her from head to toe and back with a trace of enjoyment. He took his time looking at her midsection, but he kept a professional mask.

He held out his hand, and she handed her bikini to the guard.

Carla shielded her private areas with her hands as she watched the guard stow away her bikini in his bag.

Tara was a woman, not much older than herself. Surely she would not have done this to her. She remembered that local middle-aged man who had been trying to flirt with her by complimenting her on her “exotic” red hair. She had laughed, but there was no way she would have been interested in him. She wondered now if he could have pulled some strings, knowing this could lead to her losing all her rights. Her stomach churned at the thought as she wondered if they might meet again, and this time she would have no choice to decline his advances.

Then, he took out a collar from his bag.

“Lift your hair please, Miss Murphy.”

Carla looked at the collar uncomfortably. In her current state, she didn’t want to argue, but this seemed wrong.

“A collar? What the hell is this? I’m not some animal. You can’t do this to me!”

“Enough talk. Lift your hair. This collar is going on you one way or the other.”

Carla sighed. Whatever the guard wanted to do, would happen. She hoped this would be over soon, that she would be given smocks and forget this had ever happened.

Carla gathered her lush red hair in her two hands and held it up for the guard.

The guard stepped closer, and she could smell the sweat and stale fabric of his uniform as he secured the collar around her neck. She heard the metallic clicks as the guard tightened it. When he seemed satisfied, he reached into the collar with one finger, and it made another click.

“There. This prevents it from tightening further,” the guard explained.

“What is the meaning of this?” Carla asked nervously.

“This is a slave collar,” the guard explained. “It marks you as property of the Ministry of Justice.”

“A slave collar?” Carla’s hands flew to the unyielding steel encircling her neck. Her fingers clutched the cold metal that seemed to imprison her. Beneath her touch, a D-ring emerged, and she pulled at it in desperate futility, a tide of panic surging within her.

“You can’t keep me in a collar! I’m not an animal! I’m here for the work program!” her voice rose with panic.

“Miss Murphy, it’s a bit late for that now. You should have brought any objections up in your trial. Turn around, hands behind your back.”

Carla looked at the guard, who stared back at her expectantly. With a sigh, she turned, took her hands off her collar and placed them behind her back.

She heard the clink of handcuffs as they snapped around her wrists, and she felt the hard metal surrounding her wrists, holding her arms behind her.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Carla stumbled after him. She felt the steel collar touching different parts of her neck as it shifted with her steps. She was perplexed she was expected to leave the medical examination room without any clothing.

Her voice cracked, “Wait. Where are my smocks?”

The guard turned. “Slaves are kept naked.”

Carla’s mouth fell open, outrage mixing with disbelief. “The judge never said anything about that!” Her mind spun. The judge hadn’t mentioned this. Was this a cruel trick?

The guard muttered, “Everyone knows that slaves go naked. Law says they can only wear stuff with a good reason.”

Carla’s jaw dropped, a choked laugh escaped as the meaning of the guard’s words hit her. “Two years naked? That’s absurd! Is this some kind of joke?” she gasped.

The guard grabbed her arm and tried to yank her forward.

As she approached the door, she stopped. Walking out of this room naked and handcuffed was too much to bear. Her cuffed hands strained as she instinctively tried to bring them forward. She cried, “No, I won’t go! I want a lawyer!” She was desperate.

The guard sighed. “Of course, Miss Murphy.”

“You’re joking, right?” Carla said, her voice wavering.

“We have one right here in the next room for you, Miss Murphy,” the guard said, shoving her forward, his eyes on the clock as they headed to the next room.

As they encountered other jail staff in the corridor, Carla instinctively tried to shield her private areas with her hands. Since they were cuffed behind her back, all she felt was a painful tug against her wrists as the cuffs dug in and held her arms behind her.

As they walked, her mind reeled. She felt the smooth and tacky linoleum against her feet. She steeled herself, stood up straight again with the cuffs holding her hands behind her. She looked at the ground before her, letting herself be guided by the guard’s firm grip on her arm.

A woman walked toward them, with shoes making sharp clicks and Carla felt her glances poking into her like needles.

She approached the guard, her voice light. “Hey, how are you holding up?”

The guard sighed, rubbing his neck. “Awful. I should’ve clocked out twenty minutes ago, but this mess with the white girl dragged me back.” He nodded toward Carla, his tone weary.

“What’s her story?” the woman asked, as her eyes raked over Carla’s collared form.

“Drugs,” he said and shrugged. “She’ll be dumped on the mainland tomorrow. Part of that labor program to keep the islands pretty for investors.”

Carla stood beside them, cuffed wrists straining behind her, the steel collar biting her neck as the woman’s gaze lingered. Her skin prickled, a flush creeping up, Dump me? Like hazardous waste? The woman tilted her head. “Pity we can’t keep slaves here anymore. Westerners are too close-minded to accept our ways.”

The guard grunted as he lead Carla away. She began to doubt that there would be a lawyer in her foreseeable future.

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Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas

Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 5:49 pm
by hoggle123
Holding Cells

The guard brought Carla into a dimly lit room. The air was thick with the musty scent of confinement. Iron bars stretched from floor to ceiling, forming six cramped cells—two by two meters each with no walls or furniture to shield her. Each cell had a single mat on the ground and a bucket covered with a lid. Evening shadows deepened as she took in the space. She shivered as she tried to come to terms with her new reality.

Two men in their mid-twenties, sat in separate cells. Their dark skin was slick with sweat. They were naked and collared like her. Their eyes tracked her, one with a curious glint, the other with a lazy smirk.

The guard opened a cell door and unlocked her cuffs. Carla walked into the cell and heard the barred door clang shut behind her.

She turned, grasped the bars and looked at him. “This is all a big mistake! This can’t be happening! I need a lawyer!” Her voice quivered with desperation.

“Your trial is done, girl. No lawyer will undo it.”

Her heart surged, panic tightened her throat. “Then my parents,” she begged. “Let me call them. They need to know.”

“It’s already late now,” he muttered as he turned away. “Save it for a better time.” His boots echoed as he left. The door slammed shut.

Carla gripped the bars in disbelief. She pushed and pulled against them, as if the bars might yield. But the steel bars held firm, and as her eyes darted to the other prisoners watching. She instinctively crossed her arms to shield her naked body from their stares.

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Carla’s breath came in shallow gasps and her hands clutched her chest as if to hold herself together. She wondered if Tara had known she would end up like this when she had planted the drugs. And if so, if this had been her intention.

The scarred man leaned forward. “Not from here, are you? I’m Kofi. Never seen a white girl here.”

“Ireland,” Carla whispered. Her cheeks flushed. “My boss… she framed me. Cocaine,” she said in a regretful voice. “Why don’t they give us clothes?”

Kofi’s eyes softened, weary. “It’s tradition. Prisoners of war were stripped to disarm them. Then, they were sold like that as slaves. Their stuff was sold separately.”

The lean one, Musa, chuckled, “Plus, it’s a show. Buyers see what they will get. If a slave is not healthy, it is easy to see.”

“What’d you do?” Kofi asked.

“Talked too much,” Carla said. Her fingers tugged at the collar’s D-ring to remind herself that she really had this unyielding piece of metal locked around her neck. She burned with anger at herself, at the executives of Celtic Circuits, at the naive idea that she had ever belonged among them. “You?”

“Lawyer’s assistant,” Kofi muttered, eyes on the floor. “Skimmed cash. Thought I’d get rich. Now it’s labor. Two years in this collar, same as you, then I’m free again.”

Carla’s lips twitched in bitter amusement as the guard’s joke finally landed. Of course, the “lawyer” was just another naked prisoner.

“Stole goods,” Musa grinned. “Mainland’s better than prison’s holes.”

As dusk settled, Carla’s stomach churned, her hands gripped the bars as she shook her head. “This isn’t right,” she blurted. “I didn’t touch any cocaine! Two years of this, naked, collared? This can’t be happening!”

Kofi slouched against the bars. “Right? You’re in Grabesh, girl. Judges and DAs don’t care about truth. They’ll pin it on you, bet it was that boss of yours, and if some clerk wants you longer, they’ll scribble ‘extra time’ for ‘bad conduct’ or whatever. I saw a guy hauling rocks get stuck three years past his sentence just ‘cause the judge owed a favor. Two years? That’s just a suggestion to them.”

“No way!” Carla’s eyes widened, while her fingers tugged at the collar’s D-ring. “They can’t just keep me longer!”

Musa smirked, “No rules here, white girl. Me, I stole to eat; Kofi skimmed cash. We’re just rats to them, but you? A pretty thing like you, they’ll say your ‘character’ needs more ‘building,’ if your master wants to play the system a bit. That’s how their game works. Sentences mean whatever they want them to mean.”

Carla’s heart sank. She grabbed the collar that felt hard around her neck, and wondered how long it would be locked there until it came off.

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Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2025 12:51 am
by hoggle123
Hi everyone,

Thanks for checking out the first three chapters of Carla’s Story!

I know the site has been a mess lately so I really appreciate anyone who has made it through.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these opening chapters:
  • The judge’s POV: did it land? Was it funny, entertaining, or just irrelevant world-building?
  • The images: love them, hate them, or “meh”?
  • Any moment that hit hard or felt off?
Please let me know what you think and don’t forget to rate the chapters in the poll above!

Thanks for sticking with the forum through the chaos.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2025 4:28 am
by lovethissite
Hoggle: Great start. Hope Carla enjoys the next 2 years maybe the pensioners will enjoy helping break her will.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2025 5:40 am
by ElJefe
The judge just fit into the narrative. World building. I wouldn't say irrelevant, just that it went in a particular direction and it is what it is.

The images are fine. Of course I'd like to see Carla naked.

Nothing felt off. It's a nice buildup, not a great one, but quite serviceable. Looking for payoff down the line.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2025 10:36 am
by lovethissite
Hoggle: I just reread some sections. It seems Carla is on her way to be an unattachd slave in Grabash which should help her accept her fate. Will this series contain more sex and maybe punishment for the new slave? I like you stating her grooming I hope her bush is completely removed making her totally slave naked.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2025 5:47 pm
by hoggle123
@lovethissite:

Thanks, I'm glad you liked the start! I plan to have some sex, a similar amount as in Melissa's story, probably.

Yes, there is some punishment in Carla's future! Technically, she has been sentenced to slavery, so the whole thing is a punishment. But as for physical punishment: She is the same Carla as the one in chapter 39 of Melissa's story (The Box). So there is that. There will be a bit more after that, but she is not a great rebel after experiencing what can be done to her, so her story will not be focussed on physical punishment.

Yep, Carla is completely unattached. No one is coming to save her. She can't hope for friends rescuing her. That’s going to make her journey… interesting. 😉
lovethissite wrote: I hope her bush is completely removed making her totally slave naked.
Yes, your wish will finally come true this time! :-)

Her fate will require her to be presentable to customers. (I hope I'm not spoiling too much.)

@ElJefe:

Thanks for the thoughtful take! Glad the judge fit as world-building. On the buildup, what would make it "great" for you: hotter humiliation scenes, tighter pacing, or something else?

Appreciate all the reads and "Thank You" clicks too! Means a lot after the site's chaos. Chapters 4–6 dropping soon!

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2025 4:31 am
by lovethissite
Hoggle: I'll go back and read about Carla. Great to read she will be slave naked . Her character seems to indicate that she may have a fiery personality, and may be harder to get to comply, which would make interesting reading. Good luck with your upcoming chapters I look forward to reading them and as I have said before "darker is better" especially on a fantasy porn site.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2025 7:46 am
by Skaldd
Lovely story. Thank you for posting, I am excited to see where this goes

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2025 10:26 am
by lovethissite
Hoggle: I went back and reread the chapter with Carla's introduction to the Slave Academy she was a tough dark haired irish Woman, at least before the Academy broke her. I like the hair color change. It will be great to read how Grabesh, and maybe even the Slave Academy will break the new and improved Carla. The old one did receive a attitude adjustment. Good luck can't wait to see your sketches, slave naked, will be a welcome sight.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2025 12:37 pm
by hoggle123
lovethissite wrote: Thu Nov 06, 2025 10:26 am Hoggle: I went back and reread the chapter with Carla's introduction to the Slave Academy she was a tough dark haired irish Woman, at least before the Academy broke her. I like the hair color change. It will be great to read how Grabesh, and maybe even the Slave Academy will break the new and improved Carla. The old one did receive a attitude adjustment. Good luck can't wait to see your sketches, slave naked, will be a welcome sight.
Good catch with the hair! I'll fix that to "red" in Melissa's story. (continuity win!) Yeah, I didn’t want all girls to be blonde, and I think red heads are a thing in Ireland. (I've never been there though.) Thanks for the detailed reads!

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2025 5:49 pm
by CommodorRaptr
Great to see the site back up and running! I really enjoyed the story. A quick setup with good characters and world building easy to keep track of. The pictures add a good amount to the story and I love their inclusion.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2025 5:14 am
by GreyRose
Nice story, it has good pacing and good flow on how events developed. The snap shot of both the judge and the guard's internal dialog gave depth to things.

Though I think you missed a dark jest, when the guard said they had a lawyer there. I immediately thought that a female lawyer from out of the country might have been collared for 'contempt of court' or something. And our heroine would have met her in the cells.

I'm looking forward to where you take this in your upcoming chapters. Please continue.

Re: Carla Slaving Away Overseas Ch. 01-03

Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2025 1:58 pm
by hoggle123
GreyRose wrote: Tue Nov 11, 2025 5:14 am Though I think you missed a dark jest, when the guard said they had a lawyer there. I immediately thought that a female lawyer from out of the country might have been collared for 'contempt of court' or something. And our heroine would have met her in the cells.
Thanks, that’s a great idea!

I think I’ll swap out Kofi or Musa’s backstory, so one of them is a lawyer’s assistant who ended up there for some white-collar crime. A full lawyer would need too much explanation about why she didn’t expect this. I was considering a one-day “timeout” in jail for a lawyer for contempt of court, but then Carla could try to pass a message through her and the story would have to deal with that complication.

Edit: Added now! :lol:
“Lawyer’s assistant,” Kofi muttered, eyes on the floor. “Skimmed cash. Thought I’d get rich. Now it’s labor. Two years in this collar, same as you, then I’m free again.”

Carla’s lips twitched in bitter amusement as the guard’s joke finally landed. Of course, the “lawyer” was just another naked prisoner.